Know Your Stars: The Angry Video Game Nerd
by The Angry American
Summary: What happens when everyone's favorite Rolling Rock-drinking, bird-flipping, foul-mouth video game reviewer is tormented by an evil announcer in a parody of the "All That" sketch, "Know Your Stars"? Get ready for one verbal smackdown!


**"Know Your Stars: The Angry Video Game Nerd"**

**Rated M for strong language  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own the entire sketch from "All That" or the Angry Video Game Nerd.**

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Once upon a time, there came an old black and blue studio with lights displaying everywhere. Sitting on an empty actor's chair was a nerd with square glasses, pocket protector, a bottle of Rolling Rock in his left hand and his trusty Nintendo power glove on the right.

Quite frankly, the figure sitting down on the chair was The Angry Video Game Nerd himself. Taking a sip out of his Rolling Rock, the KYS announcer's voice blared throughout the set.

_"Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars... know your stars!"_

"Yeah, I know what this show's fucking called. I've already seen it, ya shit-fuck," The Nerd spat at the announcer, "Can you just get on with the facts?"

Irritated by the Nerd's foul language, the announcer decided to unleash his verbal attack.

_"Angry Video Game Nerd, he plays with Barbie dolls."_

"Wha-? FUCK NO!" The nerd exclaimed. "Barbie dolls smell like a goat's anus being roasted by a steaming bag of shit being lit on fire! The only things I prefer are video games, rolling rocks, babes, and more video games, not girly fuck!"

_"I'm pretty sure it's Barbie dolls. I even have proof!"_

With the announcer smirking, he displayed a picture of the Angry Video Game Nerd at 11 years old, holding a barbie doll in hand.

"That's fucking bullshit!" The nerd snapped. "You're actually let people believe I play with shitty girly fuck? You fucking photoshopped it, ya shit-covered retard! I was actually holding a copy of Super Mario World in my hand, and you had the decency to change it to a mentally-challenged Barbie doll! You know that bullshit ain't true!"

The Nerd drank another sip of Rolling Rock before the announcer continued on.

_"Angry Video Game Nerd, his favorite game to play is 'E.T.'!"_

"The hell it is," The Nerd snapped once again. "I can't stand anywhere near that shit-covered maggot fuck! You wanna know the reason why people commit suicide and die, it's all because they all played 'E.T'! I choose not to play that anus-brained piece of goat-fuck! I rather french kiss and fuck a second-chain smoker than play that poor excuse of a game!"_  
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Just to ease down his anger, The Nerd took in another swig of Rolling Rock.

_"Angry Video Game Nerd, his favorite drink is Minute Maid Orange Juice!"  
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Hearing this, the Nerd spit out a good portion of his drink in shock.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Orange juice fucking sucks!" The nerd complained yet again. "I fucking drink Rolling Rock and nothing but Rolling Rock! Orange juice is for anal-juicing, cunt-sucking, shit-fucking pansies like you. I'm not like that, ya shit-dumpling!"_  
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_"C'mon, James... it's not all-"_

"I'm not done yet, ya ass-fuck!" The nerd exclaimed, cutting the announcer off, "Not even one time you said anything goddamn good about me! Look, I like anything related to Super Mario, Sonic, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy, not anything related to E.T., Superman, Action 52, Godzilla, and Dr. fucking Jekyll and Mr. fucking Hyde! I even dare you to insult me one more time. But a little warning to you: You wouldn't fucking like it."_  
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The angry nerd was waiting for the announcer to make his move.

After a few minutes of silence...

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_"Your mother."_

"THAT'S IT!" The nerd screamed.

With incomplete rage, The Angry Video Game Nerd lunged at the announcer, punching the holy shit out of him with his power glove.

"HOW... FUCKING... DARE... YOU... YOU... STUPID... SON... OF... A... COCK!" The nerd screamed between punches.

_"Agh! Stop! That's too hard, I'm gentle!"_ The announcer yelped in pain.

"Too hard?" The nerd raised his eyebrow, "Let's see how gentle you like this, ya fucking shit-tard!"

After punching him down, the Nerd began squatting down on the unconscious announcer's face. With bent out rage, James squeezed in his buttcheeks.

"Know this, ya shitty cocksucker!" James shouted out.

And then, a pile of wet excrament was blasted out of his butt, frosting the Know Your Stars announcer right in the face!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" The announcer screamed in panic, because of the hot steamy pile in his face. "It burns like the entire sun itself! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

In a state of panic, the announcer ran away like a scared piece of chickenshit.

"That's right, go home and blow your fucking mother, you mother-fucker!" The nerd shouted over to the announcer, who was still running like hell with crap on his face.

The Angry Video Game Nerd dusted himself off and went back to his seat. Taking in a drink of victory, the Nerd smiled as his theme song played off like a hitch.

_"He's gonna take you back to the past_/_To play the shitty games that suck ass/__He'd rather have a buffalo/__Take a diarrhea dump in his ear/__He'd rather eat the rotten asshole__/Of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer/__He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard/__He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd/He's the Angry Atari-Sega Nerd/__He's the Angry Video Game Neeeeeeerd..."_

With his theme song over, he kicked back on his chair and took in a sigh.

"Now they definitely know me..." The nerd chuckled.

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**It's very nice to see the Know Your Stars announcer get his karma by someone badass by The Angry Video Game Nerd. He gets what he deserves after tormenting all of those kids from "All That". It's actually a good show, so if you're huge fans of that 90's sketch show, I demand you check it out on YouTube. It's definitely the tits.**

**Anyway, tell me what you think. It's appreciated!**


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